Wednesday, April 21, 2004
1, 2, 3, Recogniiiize
Do you know the feeling, that it's almost like nothing works out the way you want it to and everything just crumbles into ashes when you touch it? Well, I'm just having one of those periods that nothing is working out the way it is supposed to. And peepz, when I say nothing, I mean NOTHING!
I feel like I am universe's biggest error. I should seize to exist. No one would even notice the difference. Well, maybe they would; in the sense that it would be a brighter place. I am just such a big looser.
K, enough complaining and self pity.
Gosh, I'm putting myself into self-destruction mode.
Do you know the feeling, that it's almost like nothing works out the way you want it to and everything just crumbles into ashes when you touch it? Well, I'm just having one of those periods that nothing is working out the way it is supposed to. And peepz, when I say nothing, I mean NOTHING!
I feel like I am universe's biggest error. I should seize to exist. No one would even notice the difference. Well, maybe they would; in the sense that it would be a brighter place. I am just such a big looser.
K, enough complaining and self pity.
Gosh, I'm putting myself into self-destruction mode.
Saturday, April 10, 2004
Not RouChickening Out
Here I am peepz, back in the land of cheese, Tulips and wooden shoes. I got back home safely last Sunday where my parents and my bro were waiting for me. My best friends gave me a ring, just as my feet touched NL territory. What a way to come home.
It felt really strange and all, to be back. However, I didn't have much time to think about all that, because the next day I had to arrange loads of stuff: Studiefinanciering, etc. Tuesday I had the interview in Amsterdam and they hired me. I was allowed to start Thursday, though officially not until the ICM coordinator gives me approval. Well, if I have to wait for his consent I won't be able to get on the job til next month.
Everything is new and at the same time old school. I can't wait to get back to Spain, because I do miss it like crazy. OK, especially talking about Sorin, here. But, don't think I will be able to leave the land for a while, because I will be doing my internship throughout the summer. We talk on the phone practically everyday, though.. so it actually feels like I'm only here on holiday or something.
Well, right now I just need to focus myself on my internship. It's a real challenge and this time as well I am choosing it the hard way. Am chickening out to be honest, but I won't let it get to me.
I am not chicken!
Yes, I am capable
I will succeed
Am gonna go 4 it
& Give my all
Here I am peepz, back in the land of cheese, Tulips and wooden shoes. I got back home safely last Sunday where my parents and my bro were waiting for me. My best friends gave me a ring, just as my feet touched NL territory. What a way to come home.
It felt really strange and all, to be back. However, I didn't have much time to think about all that, because the next day I had to arrange loads of stuff: Studiefinanciering, etc. Tuesday I had the interview in Amsterdam and they hired me. I was allowed to start Thursday, though officially not until the ICM coordinator gives me approval. Well, if I have to wait for his consent I won't be able to get on the job til next month.
Everything is new and at the same time old school. I can't wait to get back to Spain, because I do miss it like crazy. OK, especially talking about Sorin, here. But, don't think I will be able to leave the land for a while, because I will be doing my internship throughout the summer. We talk on the phone practically everyday, though.. so it actually feels like I'm only here on holiday or something.
Well, right now I just need to focus myself on my internship. It's a real challenge and this time as well I am choosing it the hard way. Am chickening out to be honest, but I won't let it get to me.
I am not chicken!
Yes, I am capable
I will succeed
Am gonna go 4 it
& Give my all
Friday, April 02, 2004
Definitely Home
My last time at the University. It feels weird. While I was walking over here, with the sun all shining bright and everything all nice and green, it finally hit me. Actually realizing myself that I'm going home next Sunday.
Of course I'm glad to see everyone again and I have another challenge waiting for me there... But still.. I had my mind set on staying here, and I really thought I was going to encounter a company to do my internship. It's hard to go into a direction opposite than you had planned for yourself. Then maybe, it just wasn't meant to be. That's the only thought that keeps me going. Maybe something better awaits me, coz who knows, maybe something really bad would happen to me if I stayed.
It doesn't make things easier, though. I try to get myself up, but I'm just feeling down. I've had such bad luck these past two months. Almost as if I'm cursed. Not that I have so much to complain about, I mean... I did stay half a year in SPAIN, people. Now, that is not something just anyone can say. I am not going to let bad vibes get to me. I've had a great time here, and I plan to close it in a sparky positive way. I am a fortunate person indeed, and so what if things haven't gone exactly my way. I suppose my way is not always the good way, though that's something we all would like to believe.
So, folk. No more RouBloggin' from Pamplona, España. I'll be at the airport next Sunday, shedding some heavy tears, but with my chin up and a grateful heart, knowing I'll be going home a bit wiser, more assertive, independent, mature (if I may say so) and fortunate, having had the opportunity to see the world from a different perspective.
My last time at the University. It feels weird. While I was walking over here, with the sun all shining bright and everything all nice and green, it finally hit me. Actually realizing myself that I'm going home next Sunday.
Of course I'm glad to see everyone again and I have another challenge waiting for me there... But still.. I had my mind set on staying here, and I really thought I was going to encounter a company to do my internship. It's hard to go into a direction opposite than you had planned for yourself. Then maybe, it just wasn't meant to be. That's the only thought that keeps me going. Maybe something better awaits me, coz who knows, maybe something really bad would happen to me if I stayed.
It doesn't make things easier, though. I try to get myself up, but I'm just feeling down. I've had such bad luck these past two months. Almost as if I'm cursed. Not that I have so much to complain about, I mean... I did stay half a year in SPAIN, people. Now, that is not something just anyone can say. I am not going to let bad vibes get to me. I've had a great time here, and I plan to close it in a sparky positive way. I am a fortunate person indeed, and so what if things haven't gone exactly my way. I suppose my way is not always the good way, though that's something we all would like to believe.
So, folk. No more RouBloggin' from Pamplona, España. I'll be at the airport next Sunday, shedding some heavy tears, but with my chin up and a grateful heart, knowing I'll be going home a bit wiser, more assertive, independent, mature (if I may say so) and fortunate, having had the opportunity to see the world from a different perspective.
